Controlling VCR

We were watching tv at my parents' house when their friend Tom stopped by to watch a movie with us. He was having a bit of trouble taming the vcr. He popped the tape in, hit play, and it stopped after playing only a few seconds.  He hit play a second time, and again it stopped after only a few seconds. He tried fast forwarding it a bit through the bad spot, hit play...and it finally worked. He backed slowly away from the vcr and sat down in his chair to watch the show. But the danged vcr wasn't finished. It stopped playing, rewound, stopped, ejected the tape, and the power turned off! He sat there scratching his head figuring out what to try next. I would have messed with him all day, but when I could no longer contain my laughter he turned and saw the vcr's remote control in my hand.

Snoring Monster

I just got back from a 3 day vacation a couple of days ago after visiting my gone-with-the-army husband. Then I had a surprise when I got home last night. My mom said she was helping my 3 year old clean her room when she heard a noise coming from a dresser in my room. Expecting to find a mouse or a rat in my dresser drawer, she sent my dad up to investigate. He was as surprised as anyone when he opened the drawer and found our cat laying in my clothes...snuggled up with a single week-old baby kitten. Good thing that drawer was full of old clothes that I was getting rid of anyway.

Last night my toddler "H" was sleeping in my room because she didn't feel well. We both have colds. She was a little congested and snoring, which made a weird but amusing sound. The cat kept growling and howling at something. I could hardly sleep with all the noise they were making. I realized she was growling at the noise the toddler was making. I picked her up and showed her the noise was just my baby, not a monster after her baby. After that, she calmed down and went to sleep with her little one. After another dose of cold medicine, I finally got to sleep, too.

Blue Blonde

"B" got a new hair color today. She has been bugging me to dye her hair red ever since I colored mine a light red this spring. I told her she'd have to wait til summer. Why she'd want to go from her pretty blonde to red, I don't know. I finally picked one up at the store that washes out in 24 shampoos, and colored her hair today. She emerged from the bathroom a new woman with a medium shiny red/copper hair. She loves it. "H" (almost 4) noticed the new color when she was sitting on the couch with her.

"H" looked her over curiously and asked her, "Is that your hair real?"

"Yes."

"H" asked "Can I touch it?"

 "Yes."

"H" ran her hand through her red locks and whispered, "wow!"

Then she asked, "B"?

"Yes"

"What did you do with all the yellow hair?"

"B" thought she'd be a smart aleck and said, "I threw it away."

"H" jumped off the couch and headed into the bathroom. For a minute I thought she had to potty, but less than a minute later she asked, "All right, "B", where'd ya put it?!"

Aaaaaant...Kellllly

I was up in Washington last week visiting at my brother-in-law's house. My toddler/preschooler speaks rather quickly and it is sometimes hard to understand what she says. She asked her grandpa, "Does aunt Kelly live here too?"

Grandpa didn't quite catch what she said, and replied,"Pardon?"

"Does aunt Kelly live here too?"

"Either you're not saying it loud enough or clear enough." Grandpa bent down to hear her better.

Hailey very patiently and very slowly said,"Duuuuuz...Aaaaaant...Kellllly...liiiiive...heeeeere...toooo?"

Entrails Details

I used to work at a grocery store that had a pizza parlor inside. One night, an old lady came through my line. While I rang up her groceries and her husband bagged them, she chatted with me. She described to me in great detail her ongoing battle with constipation. Some very colorful adjectives, and the lady knows her nouns. And OH! What nouns they were! I don't even want to remember the verbs. After my initial 'deer in the headlights' reaction, I screwed on a smile and tried to be as polite as I could. I mean, what else can you do?